The Father Who Loves Unconditionally

Our understanding of a father deeply shapes our identity and faith. In this series, we’ll explore how earthly fathers have impacted us, find healing for the places we’ve been hurt, and encounter God as the perfect Father who fully loves, restores, and defines who we are—so that His love overflows into the lives of others.

Transcript

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Thank you for listening to an audio resource from Stanwich Church, located in Greenwich in Stanford, Connecticut. The vision of Stanwich Church is to know Christ and make him known.

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The Gospel lesson for today is from Luke chapter 15, verse 11 through 32. This can be found on page 1039 of your Pew Bible. This passage, often known as the Parable of the Prodigal Son, paints a picture of God's persistent, joyful love for his children, despite their shortcomings and sins. A reading from Luke chapter 15, beginning with the 11th verse. And he said, There was a man who had two sons, and the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the share of property that is coming to me. And he divided his property between them. Not many days later, the younger son gathered all he had and took a journey into a far country, and there he squandered his property in reckless living. And when he had spent everything, a severe famine arose in that country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed pigs. And he was longing to be fed with the pots that the pigs ate, and no one gave him anything. But when he came to himself, he said, How many of my father's higher servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger? I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. But the father said to his servants, Bring quickly the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and shoes on his feet, and bring the fattened cow and kill it. Let us eat and celebrate. For this my son was dead, and now is alive. Again, he was lost and is found, and he began to and they began to celebrate. Now his oldest son was in the field, and he came and drew near to the house. He heard music and dancing, and he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant. And he said to them, Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fattened cow because he has received him back safe and sound. But he was angry and refused to go in. His father came out and entreated him. But he answered his father, Look, these many years I have served you, and I never disobeyed your command. Yet you never gave me a young goat that I might celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours came, who has devoured your property with prostitute, you killed the fattened calf for him. And he said to him, Son, you are always with me. All that is mine is yours. It was fitting to celebrate and be glad. But for this, your brother was dead and is alive. He was lost and is found. May God add his blessing to the reading of his holy word.

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For many of us here at Stanwich, this has been a season of joy and a sense of God's presence leaning in in our worship time. But there are also people here for whom these are challenging times of loss, pain, uncertainty, and fear. And in those times we find ourselves asking, where is God? Is he really in charge of all things? Is he good? Does he care? And I wonder if at some point you've asked these questions too. They come in the dark night of our souls. And it may be comforting to know that we're not alone in asking these questions. In fact, people of faith have asked them throughout the centuries, and we find it also in the pages of Scripture. Waiting for God to respond or react at times can feel like a death. And sometimes we find it easier to turn away from God rather than facing what feels like disappointment. And we start to see God as untrustworthy, unforgiving, or unfair. But what we really need is a new vision of who God is. And when we can't see God, we can pray for Him to open the eyes of our heart. And one of the best ways to see the heart of the Father towards us is in his love letter to us, the Bible. And that's most clear when we're not sure how God is going to redeem a situation. And there may be no better place in Scripture to look for the answer to those questions than in our text for today. And it shows us that no matter what we've done or what we're growing, going through now, God's extravagant love is ready to receive us. And we're in our sermon series, Encounter the Father's Heart. And today we're looking at the story of the prodigal son. To understand its meaning, we need to understand Jesus' intended audience. And we find that in Luke 15, verses 1 and 2. Now the tax collectors and sinners were all drawing near to him. And the Pharisees and the scribes grumbled, saying, This man receives sinners and eats with them. Now the Pharisees are criticizing Jesus for dining with the unclean, the outcasts, the sinners. This meant not only that he accepted them, but actually that he treated them like family. And the three parables that follow are a response to those teachers of the law, all about what it means when the lost is found. In fact, they all showed the value of just one who repents and returns to God. And then it leads to great celebration. There's the lost sheep, the lost coin, and our story for today, the lost son. Ours is the last one, and it ends with a surprising twist. Now, if you've been around church for any length of time, this is a familiar story. So I invite you today, as you hear, as we go through it again together, to pay attention to who it is in the story that you most relate to today. The prodigal, the eldest brother, or the father. Now the story began with the second son demanding his share of the father's property. Even today, that would be shocking behavior. But in an honor-shame culture, this is beyond dishonoring, not only to the father, but also to the entire family in the community. Asking for inheritance was like saying, Dad, I want you dead. It was the worst insult a son could make and normally would have led to him being punished, not getting what he wants. Imagine a dad who divides and liquidates his wealth for his son's future inheritance. The father likely had to sell land, which was his legacy, and in doing so, he was also bringing dishonor on himself. Three years ago, I had an opportunity to go to Pakistan, another honor-shame culture. And there the adult children revere and respect their parents. They live at home while they're single and even after they're married with their own family. And their job as children is to care and serve their family and to bring honor to their family name. So many of the Christian college students I met were gaining a degree to bring their entire family and even the generations that follow out of poverty. That's a big responsibility. Once the younger son is given what he never should have asked for, he leaves for the distant country. He squandered it in wild living and he spends all of it. Now, when the famine hit that country, I love that little detail. It's a physical famine, but we know this son is in a spiritual famine. He ends up getting himself hired out to feed pigs. Now, pigs were unclean animals for Jews. And so that is really a degradation. And not only that, he's not even allowed to eat the pig's food. He has hit rock bottom. And he devises a plan. Knowing that his father's hired men had plenty to eat, in verse 18 and 19, he says, I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before you I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants. Now we don't know how sincere his return was, or if he's still angling for himself, but either way, nothing prepared him for what was about to happen. Now I'm gonna do something drastic. I'm taking a pause in the story right here, because we're gonna look at the father's response to both sons in just a moment. So now for the eldest brother. How many of us here are eldest? Okay, wow. We a good many eldest in the room. Notice Pastor Chuck is also an eldest. Um, so that means for eldest, if you didn't know, or for the rest of you to understand eldest better, they're the most socially conforming and they seek justice. And um, we work hard to meet or exceed expectations, and we often become leaders, especially pastors. Now, I say that not just to indict a couple of your pastors here, but also um to highlight that Jesus is addressing a group of pastors, Pharisees, right? Religious leaders. And he they knew as they're listening to Jesus describe the eldest brother that he's talking about them in a very negative way. So, what happens with the eldest brother? He returns from the field, he's hearing music and celebration, and he asks the servant, What's going on? When he finds out his father has welcomed back the younger brother and threw a party for him, the older brother is furious. The lavish community party and gifts to the younger son legally belonged to the eldest. This was from his share of the inheritance. And now, with a returning brother reinstated by his father, his portion of the estate may get redivided. He lets his father know how angry he is. He has slaved away for him, obeyed him fully, but never even got a small party to celebrate with his friends. And you can hear his resentment in verse 30. But when this son of yours came, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him. Notice he doesn't say, when my brother, but when this when this son of yours, and it sounds like a parent, you know, when they're angry with a child and they say to the other parent, you will never believe what your son did. The eldest refuses to join in, rejoicing with his father's generous mercy towards this undeserving brother. His dad's actions make absolutely no sense to him. He's worked hard, he's followed the rules to earn love and respect. Eldest, and I speak as one, can be jealous of extravagant grace. Now the father gives his angry son a kind response, but here's the twist in the story. We don't know what he will choose. It is an unfinished story, just like ours. Daily, we have the choice to come to the party God has set for us and for others he loves. We can enter into relationship with him and with our brothers and sisters, or not. We have free will. Will we accept the extravagant gift of his love? And do we see ourselves as undeserving as the sinful younger brother because of the pride in our own heart? Just like the younger son, we need humility to return to God and repent. And let's see how the father now responds to each one of them. In verse 20 to 24, the prodigal came to his father, and but while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion and ran and embraced him and kissed him. And the son said to him, Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you I am no longer worthy to be called your son. But the father said to the servants, Bring quickly the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and shoes on his feet, and bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. For this my son was dead and is alive again. He was lost and is found. And they began to celebrate. Maybe he shows up on the porch every day for hours, looking on the distant horizon for the figure of his son coming home. Seeing him, what does the father do? Well, he does some really shocking things for that period. He has his robe and he hikes it up and he runs towards his son. Now, there he's committed two very bad deeds in an honor-shame culture. First of all, as the master of the household, you never expose your legs. That was shameful. And you never run, you walk. So here he has taken on himself the dishonor and shame of his son as he's pursuing him. He grabs him in an embrace, he covers him with kisses, and then his son is trying to get to that point where he gets with his apology saying, I'll be a hired hand, and the father cuts him off. Instead, he arranges for him to get the best robe. And that robe represented the father's honor, and it covers up his pig smell, his dirt, and his shame. And then the ring, that ring is the family signet ring, which gave him legal rights and power to conduct family business as if nothing had happened. And hired hands did not wear shoes, so by providing these, the father is fully restoring his status as his son. Now, while he may have deserved a public ceremony of punishment, which is what would have been done in that day to people, wayward children returning home, or at least an extended probation period, he gets a lavish party instead. It's to show God has accepted him back fully, so that others in the community needed to do the same. And despite turning away and squandering and dishonoring, this son doesn't get what he deserves. Because he has found his way home, the father's forgiveness is a given in his extravagant love. And for us and those we love who may be on, who may even want to be as far from God as possible, I have some good news. And that is that God has a long leash and he allows for people to wander, sometimes very far away, yet they are still connected, as the prodigal was. The cord is unbroken to the Father's love and forgiveness in the eyes of the Father because that is his impulse. He risks public shame to restore relationship with his lost son. Jesus' sacrifice for us is the ultimate example of this. Many parents whose children stray know the desire for them to come home to their family and to God's embrace to be reconciled and made whole. God's response to the eldest son is equally surprising and out of order. In their culture, an honorable father would not go out to his son. The son should come to him. And when the father sees the son, he doesn't exercise his authority and require his son to come inside. He pleads with him to join them. And when the son accuses him in anger of overlooking him and foolishly taking back this wayward son, the father doesn't defend himself or put his son in his place. And the son's disdain for his dad does not interrupt the father's heart for him. In verse 31, the father said, Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. It was fitting to celebrate and be glad, for this your brother was dead and is alive. He was lost and is found. This younger son's return doesn't change how he feels about him. And all that he has is the sons. He tells them it's right to celebrate when death becomes life and the lost become found, because that is the story of the gospel. Jesus' death brought us to life. And in the words of amazing grace, I once was lost, but now I am found. Towards both sons, the Father's love is sacrificial and unfailing. And God gives grace in superabundance that we don't deserve and we can't earn. Some of you know Henry Nowen, a great theologian and writer. He spent a decade studying and writing about the painting on this parable by Rembrandt. And it's right here behind me on the wall. Some of you may remember it. We had it at one of the stations of the Lord's Prayer during Holy Week. Nowen spent the first several years identifying with the prodigal as he returned to that wonderful embrace of God. And then he spent the next couple years focusing on all of his eldest brother tendencies, how he could be judgmental, superior, and right. And then in the final years of studying the painting, he began to focus on the father. And not only is this father's grace extended to both the prodigal and to the prideful son, but he discovered that God invites us to love other people with his love in just as radical ways. And he taught me that we're all three. We're the prodigal, we're the eldest. And at times God uses us as the Father because His Holy Spirit is in us. We get to participate in the love of God by helping the lost find their way home. Who is God highlighting? In your life today, that he might want to love through you with his radical, sacrificial love. Nowyn must have asked himself that same question because after going through this study and writing a book about it, he ended up taking action on what he had learned. And that was he left his fame behind and he left the Academy teaching at Yale behind. And he chose instead to go up to Canada and live in a community of people with and without intellectual disabilities who worked and lived together. And he spent the last decade of his life as a caregiver. And he said that this experience deeply transformed his faith. God invites us to repent, to return to him, to come home to God. He's waiting. And for those who believe in his son Jesus, there is forgiveness and new life. God runs in to us in love, and he is ready to throw a party in celebration for our homecoming. But what blocks us from coming home to him? Francis Chan said in his book, Beloved, the one we're reading this summer, we are all blocked from understanding God's love in full because of our past experiences, our sin, and our cynicism. And I would say this parable even adds to that list with a few more blocks, and that is our own seeking after the fulfillment of our needs in ways that are apart from Him. Our shame, our jealousy, and our pride. And for me, the struggle is really about abandoning myself to his full control. It's humbling to be honest about my need for God and to really let Jesus be King. I need to let go of prescribing how my life should be and let him dictate the terms. Surrender. No matter what we've done or what we're going through, the God's extravagant love is ever ready to receive us. I had come home from the West Coast for Christmas. And I brought with me my then almost two-year-old daughter, and I was without my husband. And I told my parents on the phone before coming that it's really too hard to talk about it, so please don't ask. And a few days into that time with them, I'm sitting across from my parents. They're sitting on the couch, and I can still feel the grief and shame I felt in that moment as I choked out the words, I am so sorry. I don't think my marriage is gonna make it. At that moment, I felt like such a failure. I had a deep wave of humiliation, and I felt like as the eldest, I had dishonored my family. And in the midst of that, when I had apologized, something happened. The dam broke, and I could not believe my parents' response to me. They immediately pulled me into a hug, and I found myself crying on my mother's lap, and her arms are around me, and then my dad's arms are around both of us, and I'm surrounded by a giant circle of love. It was amazing. The prodigal daughter had come home. I realized then that it was my pride that had kept me from asking for help earlier. Their love and compassion was so much greater than my shame and my disappointment in myself that I was blown away. I felt such relief. And I realized I had believed these lies about what it meant to be worthy, to get it right, and to be perfect. And at that moment, those chains broke. I knew that I was loved, not in spite of what I was going through, but actually I was loved because of what I was going through. And in that moment, I knew that not only was I experiencing God's love for me through them, but also it came with a promise. And that is that He was going to restore something in me. I would not always be in despair. Eventually I'd get through what I was going through, and there would be more to my story than just the shattered one. Starting that day, I began to breathe again. And in the months and years that followed, I had to walk out the end of a marriage, being a single parent, and learning to love again. This scene with my parents was my lowest point and my greatest joy all at the same time. And it was a picture to me of God's unconditional, extravagant love for me, no matter what I'd done or what I was going through. I love Philip Deancey's words. There is nothing you do to make God love you more, and there's nothing you can do to make God love you less. We don't have to get it all right for God to receive us. He is ready now, with arms wide open for all of us to come home.

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